Now, I don’t want any readers to think, I’m any less religious, I most certainly am not, and I know God has something out there for me, and this just a storm. But can I be openly honest about the way I feel, without the criticism, I think not, but guess what, here I go. I’ve been looking for a job for a long while, 3 months maybe. Now, I have a family member, who gets fired from her job, and why does she get fired, for selling drugs at work. Well the day before she got fired, she told me about this well paying company that was hiring and told me to go put my application in. So I did, well due to the fact that she lost her job, so did she. On the phone she told me that maybe this was just God opening a door for her, so I questioned that with, what have you done for Him, that He would be so eager to do for you? Her response, I’ve been reading the Bible and praying for the last two days, now I can’t tell you what her intentions were, for wanting to start reading the Bible and praying, that’s not my place. But yesterday, when she called, telling me about how she got the job, your right I was a little stood back. I on the other hand, have been reading the Bible and praying all along, among a lot of other things. Yet I wasn’t offered the job, and this particular employer, doesn’t even know my background. So after two days of searching, she gets a better job, then the one she was fired from and me after 3 months, well I think we know.
Now, I’m 26 and my life is still an open book, waiting to be written. The thing is I have the paper, even have the words to be wrote, but can someone, anyone, give me a pencil to write with, or just let me borrow one at this point, I promise to give it back, or maybe even a rock, I’ll do it caveman style, whatever it takes. I’m at the juncture in my life, I’m beginning to know better as being stuck, now I never liked glue in school, the only thing that has changed is, I seem to be lying in it. I watch people evolve into their life, meaning I watch people take steps towards the person they will be. I see doors open for them, most walk through, some don’t, which makes no sense, your closing a door that has been locked to me. I know what I would do if that door opened, but that’s off the topic. I feel like I’m in the middle of time square, I can’t move, not one step, not one word, my only power is to watch everyone pass me by. At the moment, I’ m not asking to make 30,000 a year, all I want is opportunity, the same opportunity I see others getting. I want a chance, I guess when it comes down to it, I just want to feel like I’m worth something, not to you, not to anyone other then myself.
Shuan,
Its funny how doors open for some and close for others. The thing we must ask ourselves is do any of us deserve any door to be open. The level of relationship one has with the Lord is only the business of the two, we don’t know that. Why God allows things to be better for some and worse for others is his business and above our understanding. We, however, must remain faithful and strong regardless of the problems. Ask yourself…Even if I have made all things right do I still deserve all the blessings of God right now? After a few months of obedience verses years of disobedience? I know the feeling of discouragement when you’re trying to do right and everything goes wrong. Hang in there and be patient, think of what you have rather than don’t have, be faithful in the hard times…the Lord will bless your faithfulness. When? Well, that’s for him to know and you to trust. God bless you brother, we’re praying for you.
Shaun,
I just want to echo what Jonathon said. You can’t get caught up in the “why”. Not ever. Not when things are good or bad. The Lord has blessed me greatly with a wife, two beautiful girls, and third on the way, and allowed me to pastor a great church.
Why would He do that? It makes no sense at all.
And we can say the same thing when we look at what happened with your recent job situation. But we could also ask; why did God allow you avoid serious jail time? Why did God allow you have a nice, Christian girl friend? Why do you have a place to live?
You see what I’m saying?
Just trust in the Lord, let Him direct your path, and He will give you what you need, when you need it.
As always, praying for you.
P.S.
Also, I could ask, why doesn’t Shaun spell-check his work, or use proper paragraphs? These questions too would be pointless.
And watch the movie I made about you.
http://www.xtranormal.com/watch?e=20090830221449673
I spell checked loser, so now ask yourself this why isn’t spell check credible
The reason you have three kids is not a “Blessing from God” Tom – its because you made your wife pregnant. PLEASE STOP AT THREE before your god “blesses” the rest of us with another overpopulating quiverful.
Shaun –
I’ll start my comment with a ‘qualifier’ , as I did before – ‘although I’m an atheist … ‘ , only because I am not qualified (or want to be ‘qualified’), to comment on the Christian aspect of your post – that is the confidence you have in God providing for you eventually.
However, I feel it’s very sad you end with the heartfelt cry –
” I guess when it comes down to it, I just want to feel like I’m worth something, not to you, not to anyone other then myself.”
Putting aside God for a second which I know is not something you can probably do , but I’ve never met you , but you are worth something to yourself – From what I’ve read you’ve come off drugs – that alone is something to be proud of – doing that is more of an accomplishment than getting a job in today’s harsh conditions.If you have something to be proud of then you are worth something.
I know your main goal is to get a job , and from that will follow your other goals – family , stability etc. … , but before you could consider those goals you had to beat the drugs, so you have a lready done stage 1 – the others will follow , and I don’t mean to offend you – but that is down to you , not God.